Post by rockydublin on Jul 24, 2020 22:34:58 GMT -5
Bad Apple by RichaadED feat. Christina Vee with by Lochheart/Conquest, Tigerspots/Famine, Ebonyflames/Pestilence, Braveheart/War, and Hawkeye/Death
(At the point in time this is taking place Braveheart and Hawkeye are now aware that they are not the only ones inhabiting their bodies, with Lochheart, Tigerspots, and Ebonyflames’ help the twins better come to terms with everything. And all of them overall just kinda trying to heal from what they’ve all individually gone through and support each other. Also I am unsure if I specified this in Lochheart’s thing but just imagine like a surfer dude when he’s talking. Another side note, I love this song to death and like many of the other songs I’ve done, I highly recommend this.)
(Okay, this is the last one for tonight, sorry about that ^^')
Running. That was all the five of them were doing. Sometimes running helped them escape from their problems; whether they were actual problems or ones their minds concocted. Other times it helped solve their problems. The reasons varied from time to time, but more often than not when one ran, the others followed. Not because they were nosey in the others business, but rather they were each other’s support. As far as they knew they were the only ones like them, while Hawkeye and Braveheart’s family was supportive and even knew of what was happening, the trio of older toms knew what the younger twins were going through, they understood how they felt in that regard. Today Braveheart ran, for what reason none of them knew, or perhaps they did and felt that it wasn’t their place to share. Regardless the remaining four followed.
Ever on and on, I continue circling with nothing but my hate and the carousel of agony, till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing and suddenly I see that I can't break free. I'm slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity, with nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony to tell me who I am! Who I was! Uncertainty enveloping my mind, till I can't break free and maybe it's a dream, maybe nothing else is real. But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel, so I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside, and I wish I could live feeling nothing but the night. You could tell me what to say, you could tell me where to go, but I doubt that I would care and my heart would never know. If I make another move, there'll be no more turning back because everything would change and it all would fade to black.
When they finally caught up with Braveheart they saw the tom furiously cleaning himself. Lochheart looked to Hawkeye, judging if the toms needed to give the other space or if they could approach. The shecat walked closer calling to her brother. The tom gave no reply, only small panicked noises as he continued. Hawkeye moved closer still, making sure her presence was known. Lochheart had seen the tom’s twin and other family members do this when Braveheart was upset or panicked. It made sense, he’d seen what happened when a cat accidentally startled the tom, poor Frogsplash avoided Braveheart for a few moons after that. He looked over again and found the twins silently conversing. When they stopped talking the duo approached the three, completing the circle.
“Do you, like wanna talk about what happened, dude?” Lochheart asked. He never wanted them to feel that they had to talk about what happened if they didn’t feel comfortable with it. While he felt talking was good, the individual needed to want to talk about it, otherwise the healing process would never truly begin.
“Same t’in’ as always. Stupid dreams of the pas’.” He replied angrily. He looked to the ground.
“Like, the experiments?” Braveheart nodded.
“They happened a while ago, I should be over this by now.” He scolded himself.
“It happened in the past, yes, but it’s okay that you are still processing what has happened to you. It is okay that you are not “over it” yet.” Tigerspots spoke. While the tom was normally quite flirtatious with other toms, when it came to things like this he was as serious as they came. Braveheart looked up at the trio before looking at his sister.
“Ya tell me the same t’in’, Brave.” She offered an encouraging smile. The upset look returned on Braveheart’s face. He didn’t want the keep dredging up his problems, at least the others had something different to talk about, there were times Braveheart felt like he was just telling them the same thing over and over again.
“I jus’ want ta be clean. No matter how hard I try, I’m still dirty!” Braveheart placed his head in a paw, a headache was coming on again. War was surfacing. The normally calm tom looked up at the trio of toms and hissed angrily before attempting to calm down.
“Sorry. I am still gettin’ used ta ya guys actually caring about Braveheart and Hawkeye.” He answered honestly.
“That’s alright, War. We understand.” Ebonyflames nodded.
“How are you, like, feeling, War?” Lochheart inquired.
“Angry about what happened. Like Braveheart said, we don’t want to feel dirty anymore. We want to stop hurting.” He answered.
“We’ll do our best to help.” Tigerspots smiled.
Will tomorrow ever come? Will I make it through the night? Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light? Am I hurting? Am I sad? Should I stay or should I go? I've forgotten how to tell, did I ever even know? Can I take another step? I've done everything I can. All the people that I see, they will never understand. If I find a way to change, if I step into the light, then I'll never be the same and It all will fade to white.
The five met in their usual spot, sitting in the circle. Nothing that was spoken left the circle unless given permission by the one who shared.
“Hey, how’s, like, everyone doing today?” Lochheart started looking at the others. Ebonyflames was leaning against Tigerspots more than he normally did. “Ebonyflame, man, would you like want to start first?” The tom in question looked up at the others.
“I’ve just been having difficulty sleeping. Between some of my headmates not wanting to sleep and being plagued by nightmares… Why didn’t they love me?” He questioned with sadness. Tigerspots knew exactly who his brother was talking about. “Why didn’t they want me, Tigerspots?”
“I don’t know, Ebony, but it wasn’t your fault. It was nothing you did that made them act the way they did. They were selfish. You mean so much to me and Spottedsong, Ebony. We wouldn’t trade you for the world.” Tigerspots spoke. Hawkeye looked over at the two, feeling her heart break. She loved her children with everything she had, she could never imagine pushing one of her kids away. Rejecting them like Ebonyflames’s parents did to him. How could a parent do that to their own child?
“Ebonyflames? Is it okay if I give ya a hug?” Hawkeye asked. The tom looked to her before nodding his head. The shecat walked over and carefully hugged the tom. “You hae us too, Ebonyflames. Braveheart and my family are yer family too.” Ebonyflames hugged the shecat back tightly.
“Thank you, Hawkeye.”
Ever on and on, I continue circling with nothing but my hate and the carousel of agony, till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing and suddenly I see that I can't break free. I'm slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity, with nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony to tell me who I am! Who I was! Uncertainty enveloping my mind, till I can't break free and maybe it's a dream, maybe nothing else is real. But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel, so I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside, and I wish I could live feeling nothing but the night. You could tell me what to say, you could tell me where to go, but I doubt that I would care and my heart would never know. If I make another move, there'll be no more turning back because everything would change and it all would fade to black.
The group continued talking, sharing their previous day and the night prior. They landed on the other half of the older twins; Tigerspots. The tom usually tried his best to deflect attention that was brought onto him and bring it to his brother, Braveheart, Hawkeye, even Lochheart at times. He felt that what he went through wasn’t as bad as what they experienced, going as far as to express this sentiment.
“Tigerspots, it’s not, like, a contest to see who has the most, like trauma. We aren’t here to judge you dudes and dudines. Our goal is to, like help you guys heal and give you the tools you need to cope better.” Lochheart smiled.
“I know, but the worst that happened to me was I would be starved every now and then, maybe struck for biting and scratching a twoleg.”
“Regardless, Tigerspots, what you feel is, like, still valid. You were hurt as much as the rest of us, man.” Lochheart replied. Tigerspots nodded, opening up.
Will tomorrow ever come? Will I make it through the night? Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light? Am I hurting am I sad? Should I stay or should I go? I've forgotten how to tell, did I ever even know? This time you're not hurting me! This time I will take a stand! All the hatred in my eyes, building up an evil plan. Standing lonely in the night, with the darkness by my side. Looking deep inside myself, and revealing only fright.
Lochheart wasn’t here. It was concerning. He never missed their meetings. Curious as to where the oldest of the five was, they went in search for him. After a few moments had passed, they found him, or more accurately, they found Conquest. Surprisingly he and Death did not have sight like the others, but they could make their way around.
“Conquest, you missed our meeting.” Tigerspots spoke.
“... She’s dead.” The tom spoke, a bit shocked.
“... Who’s dead?”
“Lakegill. Lochheart’s mother. She died last night. We didn’t kill her, but I have never been happier to hear such news. Lochheart dissociated the moment he heard the news, I’m unsure how he feels about her death at this time.”
“Do ya wanna talk about it?” Braveheart asked.
“There is nothing to truly talk about I’m afraid. She hated that we were not a shecat so she neglected us, only giving us attention when we needed to be punished. My regret is not taking her out myself.” Conquest replied, anger slowly building up. The older tom let out a deep breath before looking at the group’s paws. “I’m not mad at you all, I’m angry about what she put Lochheart through. The pain, the fear, and the hatred she made him feel.” He answered.
If I make another move, if I take another step, then It would all fall apart, there'd be nothing of me left. If I'm crying in the wind, if I'm crying in the night will there ever be a way? Will my heart return to white? Can you tell me who you are? Can you tell me where I am? I've forgotten how to see, I've forgotten if I can, if I open up my eyes, there'll be no more going back, cuz I'll throw It all away and It all will fade to black. So I'm back here once again? So I'm back here once again? Can I ever make a change? Will my heart begin to mend? Would you love me if I go? It feels like a heart attack, but still everything's the same and it all just fades to black.
Hawkeye was missing. Braveheart was unsure where she was, she usually stuck around the family or the group.
“Hawk?” Braveheart called out for his younger half. He’d been separated from her when they were kits, when Ravenkit was born, he wasn’t going to lose her here and now.
“Hawkeye, where’d you go?” Tigerspots called out.
“Braveheart! Lochheart! Over here!” Ebonyflames yelled from behind. The toms spun around and raced over to the other’s voice with Tigerspots following close behind. Hawkeye sat near the water, looking down at her reflection. Braveheart was the first to move, making his presence known.
“Hawk! There ya are. Please, don’t scare me like tha’.” He spoke, the shecat gave no answer. “Hawkeye?”
“Would Palehawk still be friends wit’ me?” Her voice sounded lost, concerned.
“Wha’ do ya mean?” Braveheart asked, studying his younger half. She never really questioned this, not vocally anyway. The remaining three walked over, making their presence known as well.
“Hey, Hawkeye, like, how’s it hangin’?” Lochheart asked.
“Would Palehawk still be friends wit’ me? Knowing tha’ I wasn’t the only one here?” She looked over at Braveheart. Scared eyes looked back at him.
“Ach, of course she would, Hawk. She probably met Deat’ befere.” He offered her a smile.
“But wha’ if she didn’t, Braveheart? Wha’ if she didn’t know about Deat’?”
“Hawk, none of us have, like, met Palehawk personally, but from what you’ve told us about that dudine, she would have, like, accepted you as you are, bro.” The older tom smiled.
“Ya t’ink so?”
“I, like, know so, my dude.” Lochheart carefully butted heads with Hawkeye who hugged the tom back. After a moment the two let go of each other and they formed the circle to talk.
(Is how I have everything going on okay?)
(At the point in time this is taking place Braveheart and Hawkeye are now aware that they are not the only ones inhabiting their bodies, with Lochheart, Tigerspots, and Ebonyflames’ help the twins better come to terms with everything. And all of them overall just kinda trying to heal from what they’ve all individually gone through and support each other. Also I am unsure if I specified this in Lochheart’s thing but just imagine like a surfer dude when he’s talking. Another side note, I love this song to death and like many of the other songs I’ve done, I highly recommend this.)
(Okay, this is the last one for tonight, sorry about that ^^')
Running. That was all the five of them were doing. Sometimes running helped them escape from their problems; whether they were actual problems or ones their minds concocted. Other times it helped solve their problems. The reasons varied from time to time, but more often than not when one ran, the others followed. Not because they were nosey in the others business, but rather they were each other’s support. As far as they knew they were the only ones like them, while Hawkeye and Braveheart’s family was supportive and even knew of what was happening, the trio of older toms knew what the younger twins were going through, they understood how they felt in that regard. Today Braveheart ran, for what reason none of them knew, or perhaps they did and felt that it wasn’t their place to share. Regardless the remaining four followed.
Ever on and on, I continue circling with nothing but my hate and the carousel of agony, till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing and suddenly I see that I can't break free. I'm slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity, with nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony to tell me who I am! Who I was! Uncertainty enveloping my mind, till I can't break free and maybe it's a dream, maybe nothing else is real. But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel, so I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside, and I wish I could live feeling nothing but the night. You could tell me what to say, you could tell me where to go, but I doubt that I would care and my heart would never know. If I make another move, there'll be no more turning back because everything would change and it all would fade to black.
When they finally caught up with Braveheart they saw the tom furiously cleaning himself. Lochheart looked to Hawkeye, judging if the toms needed to give the other space or if they could approach. The shecat walked closer calling to her brother. The tom gave no reply, only small panicked noises as he continued. Hawkeye moved closer still, making sure her presence was known. Lochheart had seen the tom’s twin and other family members do this when Braveheart was upset or panicked. It made sense, he’d seen what happened when a cat accidentally startled the tom, poor Frogsplash avoided Braveheart for a few moons after that. He looked over again and found the twins silently conversing. When they stopped talking the duo approached the three, completing the circle.
“Do you, like wanna talk about what happened, dude?” Lochheart asked. He never wanted them to feel that they had to talk about what happened if they didn’t feel comfortable with it. While he felt talking was good, the individual needed to want to talk about it, otherwise the healing process would never truly begin.
“Same t’in’ as always. Stupid dreams of the pas’.” He replied angrily. He looked to the ground.
“Like, the experiments?” Braveheart nodded.
“They happened a while ago, I should be over this by now.” He scolded himself.
“It happened in the past, yes, but it’s okay that you are still processing what has happened to you. It is okay that you are not “over it” yet.” Tigerspots spoke. While the tom was normally quite flirtatious with other toms, when it came to things like this he was as serious as they came. Braveheart looked up at the trio before looking at his sister.
“Ya tell me the same t’in’, Brave.” She offered an encouraging smile. The upset look returned on Braveheart’s face. He didn’t want the keep dredging up his problems, at least the others had something different to talk about, there were times Braveheart felt like he was just telling them the same thing over and over again.
“I jus’ want ta be clean. No matter how hard I try, I’m still dirty!” Braveheart placed his head in a paw, a headache was coming on again. War was surfacing. The normally calm tom looked up at the trio of toms and hissed angrily before attempting to calm down.
“Sorry. I am still gettin’ used ta ya guys actually caring about Braveheart and Hawkeye.” He answered honestly.
“That’s alright, War. We understand.” Ebonyflames nodded.
“How are you, like, feeling, War?” Lochheart inquired.
“Angry about what happened. Like Braveheart said, we don’t want to feel dirty anymore. We want to stop hurting.” He answered.
“We’ll do our best to help.” Tigerspots smiled.
Will tomorrow ever come? Will I make it through the night? Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light? Am I hurting? Am I sad? Should I stay or should I go? I've forgotten how to tell, did I ever even know? Can I take another step? I've done everything I can. All the people that I see, they will never understand. If I find a way to change, if I step into the light, then I'll never be the same and It all will fade to white.
The five met in their usual spot, sitting in the circle. Nothing that was spoken left the circle unless given permission by the one who shared.
“Hey, how’s, like, everyone doing today?” Lochheart started looking at the others. Ebonyflames was leaning against Tigerspots more than he normally did. “Ebonyflame, man, would you like want to start first?” The tom in question looked up at the others.
“I’ve just been having difficulty sleeping. Between some of my headmates not wanting to sleep and being plagued by nightmares… Why didn’t they love me?” He questioned with sadness. Tigerspots knew exactly who his brother was talking about. “Why didn’t they want me, Tigerspots?”
“I don’t know, Ebony, but it wasn’t your fault. It was nothing you did that made them act the way they did. They were selfish. You mean so much to me and Spottedsong, Ebony. We wouldn’t trade you for the world.” Tigerspots spoke. Hawkeye looked over at the two, feeling her heart break. She loved her children with everything she had, she could never imagine pushing one of her kids away. Rejecting them like Ebonyflames’s parents did to him. How could a parent do that to their own child?
“Ebonyflames? Is it okay if I give ya a hug?” Hawkeye asked. The tom looked to her before nodding his head. The shecat walked over and carefully hugged the tom. “You hae us too, Ebonyflames. Braveheart and my family are yer family too.” Ebonyflames hugged the shecat back tightly.
“Thank you, Hawkeye.”
Ever on and on, I continue circling with nothing but my hate and the carousel of agony, till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing and suddenly I see that I can't break free. I'm slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity, with nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony to tell me who I am! Who I was! Uncertainty enveloping my mind, till I can't break free and maybe it's a dream, maybe nothing else is real. But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel, so I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside, and I wish I could live feeling nothing but the night. You could tell me what to say, you could tell me where to go, but I doubt that I would care and my heart would never know. If I make another move, there'll be no more turning back because everything would change and it all would fade to black.
The group continued talking, sharing their previous day and the night prior. They landed on the other half of the older twins; Tigerspots. The tom usually tried his best to deflect attention that was brought onto him and bring it to his brother, Braveheart, Hawkeye, even Lochheart at times. He felt that what he went through wasn’t as bad as what they experienced, going as far as to express this sentiment.
“Tigerspots, it’s not, like, a contest to see who has the most, like trauma. We aren’t here to judge you dudes and dudines. Our goal is to, like help you guys heal and give you the tools you need to cope better.” Lochheart smiled.
“I know, but the worst that happened to me was I would be starved every now and then, maybe struck for biting and scratching a twoleg.”
“Regardless, Tigerspots, what you feel is, like, still valid. You were hurt as much as the rest of us, man.” Lochheart replied. Tigerspots nodded, opening up.
Will tomorrow ever come? Will I make it through the night? Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light? Am I hurting am I sad? Should I stay or should I go? I've forgotten how to tell, did I ever even know? This time you're not hurting me! This time I will take a stand! All the hatred in my eyes, building up an evil plan. Standing lonely in the night, with the darkness by my side. Looking deep inside myself, and revealing only fright.
Lochheart wasn’t here. It was concerning. He never missed their meetings. Curious as to where the oldest of the five was, they went in search for him. After a few moments had passed, they found him, or more accurately, they found Conquest. Surprisingly he and Death did not have sight like the others, but they could make their way around.
“Conquest, you missed our meeting.” Tigerspots spoke.
“... She’s dead.” The tom spoke, a bit shocked.
“... Who’s dead?”
“Lakegill. Lochheart’s mother. She died last night. We didn’t kill her, but I have never been happier to hear such news. Lochheart dissociated the moment he heard the news, I’m unsure how he feels about her death at this time.”
“Do ya wanna talk about it?” Braveheart asked.
“There is nothing to truly talk about I’m afraid. She hated that we were not a shecat so she neglected us, only giving us attention when we needed to be punished. My regret is not taking her out myself.” Conquest replied, anger slowly building up. The older tom let out a deep breath before looking at the group’s paws. “I’m not mad at you all, I’m angry about what she put Lochheart through. The pain, the fear, and the hatred she made him feel.” He answered.
If I make another move, if I take another step, then It would all fall apart, there'd be nothing of me left. If I'm crying in the wind, if I'm crying in the night will there ever be a way? Will my heart return to white? Can you tell me who you are? Can you tell me where I am? I've forgotten how to see, I've forgotten if I can, if I open up my eyes, there'll be no more going back, cuz I'll throw It all away and It all will fade to black. So I'm back here once again? So I'm back here once again? Can I ever make a change? Will my heart begin to mend? Would you love me if I go? It feels like a heart attack, but still everything's the same and it all just fades to black.
Hawkeye was missing. Braveheart was unsure where she was, she usually stuck around the family or the group.
“Hawk?” Braveheart called out for his younger half. He’d been separated from her when they were kits, when Ravenkit was born, he wasn’t going to lose her here and now.
“Hawkeye, where’d you go?” Tigerspots called out.
“Braveheart! Lochheart! Over here!” Ebonyflames yelled from behind. The toms spun around and raced over to the other’s voice with Tigerspots following close behind. Hawkeye sat near the water, looking down at her reflection. Braveheart was the first to move, making his presence known.
“Hawk! There ya are. Please, don’t scare me like tha’.” He spoke, the shecat gave no answer. “Hawkeye?”
“Would Palehawk still be friends wit’ me?” Her voice sounded lost, concerned.
“Wha’ do ya mean?” Braveheart asked, studying his younger half. She never really questioned this, not vocally anyway. The remaining three walked over, making their presence known as well.
“Hey, Hawkeye, like, how’s it hangin’?” Lochheart asked.
“Would Palehawk still be friends wit’ me? Knowing tha’ I wasn’t the only one here?” She looked over at Braveheart. Scared eyes looked back at him.
“Ach, of course she would, Hawk. She probably met Deat’ befere.” He offered her a smile.
“But wha’ if she didn’t, Braveheart? Wha’ if she didn’t know about Deat’?”
“Hawk, none of us have, like, met Palehawk personally, but from what you’ve told us about that dudine, she would have, like, accepted you as you are, bro.” The older tom smiled.
“Ya t’ink so?”
“I, like, know so, my dude.” Lochheart carefully butted heads with Hawkeye who hugged the tom back. After a moment the two let go of each other and they formed the circle to talk.
(Is how I have everything going on okay?)